Her Honest Space

Who are you really designing your home for? Learn why letting go of other people’s opinions is the first step towards creating a home that truly feels like your.

Have you ever stood in front of a piece of art and wondered what everyone else saw? Perhaps it was a painting that left someone beside you completely captivated while you couldn’t quite understand why, or maybe it was the opposite. You found yourself unable to look away from a piece that everyone else simply walked past. The beauty of art has never been that we all see the same thing. It’s that each of us brings our own memories, experiences and emotions, meaning no two people will ever walk away with exactly the same interpretation.

It made me wonder if our homes are really any different. How often do we question ourselves when it comes to the spaces where we entertain family and friends? We picture something we’d genuinely love, but then the doubt creeps in. No one will understand that piece of art. That furniture is a little too quirky. Maybe I should choose something safer. Before long, we begin editing ourselves, not because the pieces don’t speak to us, but because we’re worried they won’t make sense to someone else.

Somewhere along the way, we stop asking ourselves whether we love something and start asking whether everyone else will. Even rooms like a guest bedroom can become designed around the people we think will stay there, rather than reflecting who we are. Yet when you really think about it, the people you invite into your home already know you. They’re your family, your friends and the people who love you for exactly who you are. More often than not, that unusual artwork or beautifully quirky vintage chair won’t be judged—it will become the piece everyone asks about because it tells them a little more about you.

We accept that art is personal, that fashion doesn’t suit every body and that music won’t appeal to everyone, yet when it comes to our homes we suddenly convince ourselves there is a right and wrong way to decorate. We chase trends, save endless inspiration on Pinterest and Instagram, and slowly begin designing spaces that we hope others will admire instead of spaces that genuinely feel like us.

Perhaps that’s why so many beautiful homes still don’t feel like home at all. Because a home was never meant to tell someone else’s story.

It was always meant to tell yours.

That’s what makes the difference between a house and a home. To me, a house is simply four walls and a roof. It provides shelter, somewhere to sleep and a place to keep our belongings. A home, however, is something much deeper. It’s a reflection of the people living within those walls. It’s where personalities, memories and stories quietly unfold through the things we choose to surround ourselves with. The artwork hanging in the hallway, the stack of books beside the bed, the handmade bowl picked up on holiday or the armchair that’s become everyone’s favourite place to sit. Individually they may seem like ordinary objects, but together they begin telling the story of the people who call that place home.

The funny thing is, we don’t think twice about accepting that art is subjective. We understand that one painting can mean something completely different to each person who stands in front of it. Fashion is no different. We can admire an outfit on someone else, yet know it wouldn’t suit our own body, personality or lifestyle. We don’t assume there’s something wrong with us because a trend doesn’t work—we simply recognise that it isn’t for us. So why, when it comes to our homes, do we convince ourselves that there is only one right way to decorate?

I think social media has made this even harder. We’re surrounded by beautifully styled homes, perfectly curated shelves and rooms that look as though they’ve stepped straight out of a magazine. It’s inspiring, and there’s nothing wrong with admiring beautiful spaces. But inspiration can quietly turn into comparison. Before we know it, we’re choosing pieces because they’ll fit an aesthetic rather than because they genuinely speak to us.

Lately, I’ve noticed more people embracing vintage shopping, and I think there’s something we can learn from it. Some people love the sustainability of giving something old a new life, while others enjoy the excitement of finding a piece that no one else has. But what I love most is that vintage shopping isn’t about filling your wardrobe in one afternoon. It’s about collecting pieces over time, waiting until you find something that makes you stop and think, I love this.

Maybe creating a home should feel the same way.