Her Honest Space

Not quite ready for a toddler bed? A gentle, honest look at preparing for the transition, co-sleeping, and moving at your child’s pace.

I feel like we’re in that in-between stage at the moment. Some nights my son sleeps in his cot next to my bed.Other nights, he ends up with me.

And recently we’ve picked up a toddler bed but if I’m being honest… I don’t feel fully ready to transition yet.

So I’m not rushing into it, I’m focusing on gently preparing — in a way that feels manageable for both of us.

Accepting That We’re Not Fully There Yet

I used to think transitions were something that just… happened. Like you pick a week, make the change, and somehow it all falls into place.

Lately, I’ve realised it doesn’t really work like that. And maybe part of it is because this isn’t just about changing where he sleeps. It’s about everything that comes with it.

There are still nights where I feel him reach for me, where he curls his little body into mine like I’m his safe place, that helps him settle. Bedtime has quietly become our time. Dad does bath time, but when it’s time for bed, he grabs my hand or calls out “mama, bed.” We watch one story on his little story machine while he drinks his milk, his lullabies playing softly, and I cuddle him nose to nose as he drifts off with his dummy.

I think that’s why I find this part hard. I really love our bedtime — it’s our time, just us, and there’s something about it that I’m not quite ready to let go of. Not because I don’t want him to grow, but because I know how quickly he’s changing… and soon he won’t need me in the same way. And that’s the part I’m not quite ready for.

So instead of rushing into a full transition, I’m starting small in a way that still feels comfortable for both of us.

Bringing the Toddler Bed Into Our Space First

My partner and I have talked about it, and we both feel that bringing the toddler bed into our room first, rather than moving him straight into his own. Is a gentler way to introduce something new without taking away everything he’s used to at once.

I’m not expecting him to suddenly sleep in it straight away. It’s more about letting him get familiar with it, sitting on it together, reading books, letting it become part of our space instead of something completely new and separate. I’ll probably add his favourite teddies too, just so it feels like his.

We want it to feel safe and normal before it becomes expected. So there’s no pressure, no “this is where you sleep now,” just letting it become part of our lives and our bedtime routine.

Because right now, it feels like a step we’re both ready for.

Watching for Readiness (Instead of Forcing It)

Rather than setting a timeline or deciding “this is when it needs to happen,” I’ve found myself focusing more on him instead.

How he’s settling at night, whether he shows any interest in the toddler bed, how he responds to small changes — those little cues feel more important than picking a date and trying to stick to it.

I’m also preparing myself for the ups and downs. Some nights he might be more open to it, other nights he may want the comfort of what he knows. And I’m reminding myself that this is part of the process, not a sign that I’m failing.

I’m realising readiness isn’t something you force — it’s something you notice over time. And right now, I think we’re still somewhere in between.

Allowing for Mixed Nights (and Letting Go of Perfect)

I already know this won’t be a clean or straightforward transition.

There will be nights where we try the toddler bed and it works, and other nights where it doesn’t. Nights where he might start in one place and end up somewhere completely different.

And I’m slowly learning to be okay with that.

Because right now, sleep matters more than doing it “perfectly.” If that means some nights look different to others, or we fall back into what’s familiar, that doesn’t undo anything — it just means we’re still finding our way through it.

I think I used to see inconsistency as doing something wrong. But now I’m starting to see it as part of the process.

Some nights will feel like progress, others might not — and both can exist at the same time.

What I’m Reminding Myself Right Now

Right now, I’m reminding myself that this doesn’t have to be rushed.

There isn’t a perfect way to do this, and there isn’t a timeline we need to follow. We’re allowed to take it slowly, to move through it in a way that feels right for both of us.

Some nights will feel easier than others. Some will feel like progress, and some might not — but that doesn’t mean we’re getting it wrong.

It just means we’re in it.

I’m also reminding myself that this phase won’t last forever. The closeness, the little routines, the way he reaches for me — it’s all slowly changing, whether I’m ready or not.

So instead of trying to rush through it, I’m trying to be in it while it’s here.

Because one day, this won’t be our normal anymore.

And I think that’s why I’m choosing to take my time.

💬 If you’re in this stage too, I’d love to know what it looks like for you.