Her Honest Space

Struggling to keep on top of cleaning after becoming a mum? Realistic tips to manage your home without pressure, guilt, or doing it all.

I used to have time to deep clean both bathrooms in one day, or spend an afternoon cleaning the oven, wiping windows, you name it, I had time to do it all.

Cleaning was my way of resetting. I know that might sound silly, but when I had a lot going on, it gave me space to pause, focus on one task, and see it through while blaring my music.

These days, it looks very different.

It’s wiping the bench, unloading the dishwasher, throwing on a load of laundry, a quick vacuum, and if I’m lucky, maybe I can squeeze in a mop.

Deep cleaning… almost feels impossible now.

And for a while, I thought it was me, that I just wasn’t managing well. But the more I’ve reflected on it, the more I’ve realised it’s not because I’m less capable… my life just runs around someone else’s very small window now.

So I stopped trying to do it all the way I used to… and started finding what actually works for me now.

Not perfectly, but in a way that feels manageable

What Actually Helps (Realistic Cleaning Tips for Mums)

This isn’t about having a perfectly clean home. It’s about finding small, realistic ways to stay on top of things, without the pressure.

So instead of trying to keep up with how I used to clean, I’ve had to find a different way of approaching it. In a way that actually fits into my family life.

These are a few things that have helped me.

1. Start Small

Not everything needs to be done, and definitely not all at once.

I used to clean in big blocks… bathrooms, oven, windows — all in one go. Now, it’s choosing one small thing and letting that be enough.

Some days that looks like:

• wiping the bench properly
• clearing one surface
• doing just one load of washing

It doesn’t feel like much in the moment, but it stops everything from building up, and mentally, that matters more than a full deep clean.

2. Shift Expectations

This one has been the hardest for me.

I had to let go of what a “clean home” used to look like, because trying to keep up with that version of me just left me feeling behind.

My home isn’t going to be spotless all at once anymore and that doesn’t mean I’m not on top of things. It just means I’m in a different season.

Now I focus more on:

• What’s functional
• What feels easy to tackle for the day.
• What makes the space feel easier to live in

Not what looks “perfect”.

3. Stack It Into Your Day

Waiting for a full block of time to clean… doesn’t really exist anymore.

So instead, I’ve started attaching small tasks to things I’m already doing.

Like:

• Wiping the bench while my son eats, plays, or while I’m already in the kitchen cooking.
• Unloading the dishwasher in the morning, while he plays nearby
• Throwing on a load of washing during nap time

It’s not structured or perfect, but it helps things stay manageable.

4. Share It With Them (When You Can)

This one doesn’t always work and definitely not every day.

My son can’t really “clean” (and saying no is currently his favourite thing), but on the days he is willing, I try to involve him where I can.

We make a bit of a game out of it:

• helping put toys away
• holding the vacuum while I carry him
• putting clothes into the washing machine or helping take them out

It’s not perfect, and it’s definitely slower… but it does take away some of that feeling of doing everything on my own.

And over time, I’ve noticed he’s starting to recognise it too, sometimes he’ll look at something and say, “oh no, mess” and try to help clean it.

5. Support Where You Can (If It’s Available)

This is something I’ve had to learn.

It’s easy to carry it all without even realising — to just do it ourselves because it feels quicker, or because we’ve silently taken it on as our responsibility.

But over time, I’ve realised it’s not sustainable to hold everything.

If you’re feeling mentally overloaded, it’s okay to have that conversation.

To say you need help, and share the responsibilities or come up with a simple way of tackling things together.

It doesn’t have to be perfect or evenly split — but it shouldn’t all sit on you either.

A simple plan might look like:

• investing in a cleaner every now and then for those deeper tasks, if that’s something available to you
• organising a babysitter or asking family to take the kids so you can have a bit of time to reset the house
• creating a loose cleaning rhythm or sharing certain tasks with your partner so it doesn’t all sit with you

Even with all of this, there are still days where it feels like I’ve achieved nothing.

And I’ve realised that it’s not always about finding the perfect system — sometimes it’s about letting go of the pressure and reminding myself it’s ok.

Redefining What “Clean” Looks Like

Cleaning looks different for me now — and honestly, I’m still learning to be okay with that.

There are days where I feel on top of it, and others where I feel like I haven’t done enough. And I’ve realised that feeling doesn’t come from the house… it comes from the expectation I’ve held onto from a life that doesn’t look like mine anymore.

I’m slowly learning to let that go.

To see that keeping a home with kids isn’t about getting everything done — it’s about creating a space that supports us, even in the mess.

A home can still feel lived in, loved, and calm — even if it’s not perfectly clean all at once.

I’d love to know — What does cleaning look like for you?

Or What’s one small thing that helps you stay on top of it?