🌿 The Gap Between Who I Was and Who I Am Becoming

A gentle New Year reflection for mums navigating identity shifts. Explore the space between who you were and who you’re becoming — with grace, honesty, and small steps toward the life that feels like yours again.

There’s something about a new year that makes us pause — not in the loud, resolution-heavy way the world expects, but in a quiet, almost aching way.

When you’re a mum, that pause feels different. Because the biggest shifts don’t happen on January 1st — they happen quietly, in the moments where you realise you’re no longer the woman you once were… but not quite the woman you’re becoming either.

You’re somewhere in the middle.

In the gap.

And that space — that in-between — can feel confusing, emotional, tender, and strangely hopeful all at once.

Sometimes, standing in the middle means looking back before we can step ahead.

The woman I was…

Before motherhood, it was easier to recognise myself.

I knew what I liked, how I needed to rest, how to show up in my work, in my relationships, in my home.

I thought becoming a mother would be an addition — not a transformation. But it shifts everything:

how much of yourself you give away
how your time belongs to more than just you
how your needs get pushed to the back without you even noticing
how you suddenly question things you once felt confident about

The woman I was didn’t vanish, but she softened.

And some days, I miss her.

…and the woman I’m becoming

But there’s also this new version of me — the one still forming.

The one who is learning:

that slowing down is not failure
that asking for help is strength
that my identity isn’t lost, it’s expanding
that I’m allowed to want things for myself, not just for my family
that growth is uncomfortable, but not wrong

This version of me feels unfamiliar sometimes, but she’s also braver, more intuitive, more grounded. She carries wisdom the old me didn’t have yet.

Sitting in the middle — the gap

The gap between who I was and who I’m becoming can feel messy.

It’s where:

guilt tries to take over
comparison creeps in
we feel stretched thin, unsure, or behind
we grieve our old selves while also feeling hopeful about what’s next

But it’s also where the real growth happens.

This gap is not a problem to fix — it’s a space to honour. It means you’re evolving. It means life is expanding around you and within you.

What the new year really invites

Instead of resolutions, maybe this year is asking something gentler of us:

Make space for the new version of you… even if she’s still forming.
Release the pressure to snap back to who you were.
Let growth take time.
Let the gap be sacred instead of something you rush through.

You don’t need a 2025 reboot.

You need room to breathe while you become.

A quiet invitation for the year ahead

If you’re standing in that in-between space — between who you were and who you’re becoming — here’s something that might help you move through it with more ease:

Notice your needs before you silence them. Even asking, “What do I need right now?” is a form of growth.
Let small moments count. Five quiet minutes, a deeper breath, a kinder thought toward yourself.
Choose one thing you want to carry into this new season, and one thing you’re ready to put down.
Let go of the pressure to return to “before.” You’re not meant to go backwards.
Treat your identity like a room you’re slowly renovating — gentle changes, steady shifts, nothing rushed.

The gap you’re in is not a sign of being lost.

It’s a sign of becoming.

And the woman you’re becoming deserves space, softness, and time.