Her Honest Space

Motherhood often comes with pressure to be everything for everyone. Here’s how to peel back the masks, reconnect with your true self, and let go of outside expectations.

I caught myself staring at my baby the other day. He was dressed beautifully — I was in track pants, hair barely brushed. But his gaze never changed. No judgement. No expectation. Just love. And it hit me — he doesn’t care what I look like.

He sees who I am.

As women, we’ve spent so long reshaping ourselves to meet what we think others expect of us. And motherhood only adds more layers. The pressure to be calm, gentle, well-kept, emotionally attuned, ambitious but present, selfless but also self-aware. It’s relentless.

We wear masks. Every day. And the scary part? We’re often doing it automatically — without even realizing it.

A Long History of Carrying It All

This pressure didn’t start with social media. That just added a filter to an expectation that’s been there for generations.

There was a time women weren’t allowed to work, speak up, or vote — so we fought for more. And we did gain more freedom, but along the way, something shifted. “You can have it all” quietly became “you should do it all” — and do it perfectly.

Workplaces still subtly frown on motherhood. Gaps on CVs raise eyebrows. Women are still quietly passed over. We still apologise when we speak too loudly or take up too much space. We still feel the weight of keeping the peace — at work, at home, even among friends.

So we over-deliver. We please. We chase the appearance of “put-together” even when we’re exhausted. And we wonder why we still feel so unseen.

Who Are We Really Doing This For?

We can change the outside. We can meet every aesthetic trend. We can work harder, smile more, wear the right outfit, feed our kids the organic snacks — and still feel hollow.

Because we’re serving a version of ourselves that isn’t real.

As Britney Spears once sang:

“She’s so lucky, she’s a star. But she cry, cry, cries in her lonely heart…”

That line hits differently now, doesn’t it?

So who are we really fooling? Ourselves.

The (Hard, Honest) Shift Toward Truth

Maybe it starts with this:

Let’s be honest about who we actually are. Let’s start removing the masks. Let’s stop trying to be everything for everyone.

This isn’t easy. I fall into old patterns too — performing, pleasing, comparing. But I’m trying.

Where to Begin

If you’re wondering how to start peeling back the masks, here are a few gentle steps I’m learning to take:

• Say no once this week — without over-explaining yourself.
• If it doesn’t serve or add value to you, it’s okay to walk away.
• If you’re stuck on a decision, ask yourself: Who am I really doing this for? If it’s for you, go for it. If not, give yourself permission to say no.
• Once a week, look at yourself and say something positive — about your appearance or your mind.
• Reconnect with your inner child — think back to what you loved when you were little. Did you enjoy drawing, writing, dancing, or sport? Whatever it was, lean into it again. That’s how we begin to peel back the masks and rediscover our truest selves.

Small steps, but they build. And each one makes the mask feel a little lighter.

Final Thoughts

We don’t need to perform to be worthy. We don’t need to prove or polish to be seen. The people who truly love us — our children, our closest friends — already see the real version.

The challenge, and the gift, is letting ourselves see her too.

A Deeper Reminder

When we die, our loved ones won’t remember the mask. They’ll stand up and speak about who you truly were — your love, your heart, your values, your personality. Not your perfect hair, spotless home, or carefully crafted image.

So stop layering yourself with masks. Start peeling them off. Ignore the outside expectations and pressures — that isn’t you and it shouldn’t define you. You don’t need to excuse who you are. Start living for you, and the rest will follow.

Try This (Journal Prompt)

Take five minutes with a notebook and finish these sentences:

Today, I feel like I’m wearing the mask of ____________.

The real me underneath is ____________.

Write freely. No editing, no judgment. Just honesty.

Your Turn

What’s one mask you’ve taken off recently?Or one truth you’re slowly learning to own?

I’d love to hear it. Really. Let’s make space for the unfiltered version of us — the one our kids already see so clearly.